she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
