umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
