you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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