Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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