Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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