my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
