How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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