I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
