Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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