Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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