How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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