My friends, they love my intelligence
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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