maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize