It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize