No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
