3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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