SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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