1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
