5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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