I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
