She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
