So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
