you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
