i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
