Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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