He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
