Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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