Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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