No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
