I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
