There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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