Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
