I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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