Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
