I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
