She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Holy shit dude........stairs
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
