I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
