That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
