that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
