I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
