As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
