I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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