His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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