Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize