New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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