How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
