Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
