Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.