I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just had sex bonerless
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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