No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
