Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I can text with my tongue
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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