I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
