Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
