Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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