Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
