Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
