I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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