I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
